dthetremblingwomanasshebackedaway,fettingierrorthatshewasstandingatthetopofthestairs．Shetookooomany,steppedonairarollingandcrashingdoweepstairs．Hearingnofurthersound,Dimitritiptoeddownstepbystep，alertandreadyforanattack，buttohishorror，hefoundherlifelessbodyatthefootofthestairs,eyeswideopen,staringinterror．

"OhmyGod!WhathaveIdone?Ididokillyou．IsweartoGodIdidn’t．Ijustwahtenyoualeasebelieveme..."Hegentlyandapologeticallyclosedherstaringeyesandtheothegardentolookforheraplice．Hefoundthemanlyingontheground,stillive,butshiveringandfrothingatthemouth,sayingdisjointedly，

"Iwant...herpussy...formy...cock...Formy...cock，Iwant...her...pussy．Sheand…I…apussy...anda...cock..."Dimitrididn’tknowwhattodo．Heranbacktothehouse，fumblinginthedarkforaphooambunce．Hewasstilllookingwhehenoiseofacardrivingupandsawthebrightheadlightsturnontothedriveway．ItwasElina，hewouldknowthatywhere．Hefotalboutthephone，knowinghisfirstprioritywastowashoffthemakeupfromhisfacebeforehavinganotherfaintingwomanonhishands．

Elinahadapremonitionthatallwasnotwellwheriedtooveltoinformhershewasingandfoundthephonedisected．Seeiewideopen，atoppleddderandahalf-unsanontheground,shefearedtheworst．Shelefttheginerunningandthelightson,withoutdaringtoeoutofthecar．Shecalledout，

"Novel,whereareyou?AreyouOK?"Dimitricamerunningoutofthehouse．

"HiElina,it’sme．I’mhere．einquickly!"

5

"Dimitri!Whatareyoudoinghere?Whyhaven’tIseenyouthesestfewdays?"Shecameoutofhercarwithhersuitcaseandcamerunningtohimandkissedhimlikealonglostfriend．

“Ihavenotimetoexpin．There’safaintedstairs.”Theygotintothedarkhouse,gropedupthedarkstairsaintoNovel’sbedroom．

"pened?"askedElinaasshesawhercousin’shalf-nakedbodyinabathrobelyingonthebed．

"Iscaredher.”

"Howe?"

"I’llexpinter．Howwereviveher?”

"Getmeacoldtowelfromthebathroomandputitonherforehead.”Dimitrididashewastoldandthenrememberedtherewasanothermaninthegardenthatneededhelp．

"I’llgodownstairsahatmanisdoing.”

"OK．I’lltakecareofher.”

WhenDimitriwalkedfromthedarkhouseintothebrightmoonlight,themanwasobeseenandElina’scarhaddisappearedaswell．OnlyhersuitcasewaswhereshehaddroppeditwhenshegreetedDimitri．Justthen，heheardElinacallingouttohimfromthethirdfloorverandah，

5

"eonupDimitriandbringmysuitcasewithyou．There’realotofquestiotoaskyou.”Sopigupthesuitcasehewalkedupthestairs．Thesweetyoungwomanwassittinguponherbed．Shesmiledathiminafriendlyfashionandsaid，

"HiDimitri!IhaveheardalotaboutyoufromElina.Willyoupleasetelluspeonight?I’mallinafog.”Dimitritoldthemthewholestoryfrombeginningtoend．

"Youmeanyouwereinthebackseatthewholetime?"

"Yes．That’showIcametoknoasgoingon.”Thetwowomenlookedateachotherandsmiled．

"Nowit’syourturn,Elina．Howdidyouetobeherejustinthenie?"

"Bothofusthoughtweneededavacation,ageofse,sowebookedticketstalthisafternoonandarraospendthenightheretogethersothatwestartearlytomorr.”

"Pal?That’snofun．Whydon’tyoutwogototheKingdomofDreams?"

"KingdomofDreams?Whereisthat?"

"Itsoundssoillusional!Doesitreallyexist?"

"That’sahardquestiontoanswer”repliedDimitri.“Itwaslikeaskingabouttheexistenceofheaven．Tothosewhobelieve,heaves．Tothosewhodon’t,itdoesn’t.”

60页

ThedistantrofengineswokeDimitrifromhisreverie．Helookeduptoseeanairlinerpassingoverhead,wonderedidlywhetherElinaandNovelwereonitahertheyhaddecidedtogotalortohisKingdomofDreams．Thenheughedathisownfolly．Thepassingoftimethesestfewdayshadleftabefuddledimpressioninhisthoughts．Hefoundithardtoascertaihertheywererealpeoplewhoactuallyexistedandcameintohislife，orjusttwobeautiesofhisimagination．Dimitritouchedhiseyesaaslightpain．Yes,onlyohingwascertain,hewasgoingblindonedayinthenearfuture．Sittingonthebenchbytheroadside,hewatchedcarafterby．

"Willmysightbegoneinafsh,likethesecars?"hewondered．Hepoheeventsofhislifeandthoughttheywereuniqueindeed．Inreallife，hewasalwaysstrugglingwithadversity，findingresurreonlyinhisdreams，likealogier，nowfloating，nowsinking．Dreamsaypiledoneupoher,iingandmixedtogether.Suchwashislife．Hesawalongcigarettebuttonthegroundnearby,crushedbysomeone’sheels．Hepickeditup,rolleditsoftlyandcarefullybetweenhisfiomakeitroundagainandlightingit,sankbathebenchtoenjoytheluxuryofasmoke．

"WhoamI?"heaskedhimself．"That’saneasyquestiontoanswer．IamwhoIam，avagabondwiththemirageofabeautifulheavenlykingdominmymind．Iliveandwanderarouhwithit.”

Freaterpartoftheday,Dimitriwouldsitthereinatrance,seeminglydoingnothing,buthisbrainwasfuriouslyatwork．Itwashisdailyroutine,likethephysicalexerciseoftheaverageman．Justthen,hewashavingastrangevisiohisbodybehindandbecameohthetranquilevening，uhitspeadjoy．Inhismienthoughtofaencebeyondtheuniverse，carefreeandromantiottihanypessimisticthoughts．Undersuchcircumstances，he’dratherbelieveiheoryofReination，notiouslevel，butonthelevelofpoetitasy．Butthehought,no．Soul,reinatiolife,theseareonlythebrainchildofclever，profoundphilosophers,notreallypractical．Heonlybelievedinhisfleshbodywithitswarmtemperature，thepulsatiaivebrain．Thousandsuponthousandsofdaysandnightshavegoneby,buthehadneverfeltthepresenceofasouttachedtohisbodywithwhichhewasasfamiliarasifitwerehislifelongspouse．Buthebelievedonlyinthought，whichwasagenuineanofthebody，atooltoacquirementandphysicalequilibrium．Iftherewasasoul，itwasonlytheshadowofhisfleshbody．Strangelyenough，allthroughtheages,wisemenhavefocusedtheirattentionontheshadowinsteadofthebody．

Fullysatisfiedwiththeday’sworkdohebrain，Dimitristretchedhimselfandwokeuptohissurroundings．Bloomingazaleasmethiseyewhilesoothingeveningwindscaresseshisbody．

"IfIdidnothavemyfleshbody，Iwouldnotbeabletoenjoysuchbeautifulses.”hethought．"Thoughmysightwilleventuallydriftawayoneday,itisstillherenow．Imustmakethebestuseofthelimitedtimegrantedme．Whatwillbe,willbeanditwouldbefoolishnottoenjoymyselfwhileIdwasteitonfruitlessworry.”HestooduptowalkaroundandenjoythebeautifulLakeMerrittattwilight．inguponagarbage,hecasuallyflippedthroughitstentsfromforceofhabitandpulledoutadiscarded1991dar,stillquitenew．Hecasuallyflippedthroughitspagesandwasecstatictofindtwelvenudebeautiesinvariousposes.Hispulseacceleratedahimselfgettied．

“Thefleshbodyisastrahihought.“Theseareonlypictures,beautifundgraphicthoughtheybe,notrealnudewomenintheflesh,butthesightofthemhavethepowertoinfluencemybody．Whowouldthrowthemawayinthegarbage?It’sasacrilegetothesebeauties!Hemustbearough,callousbruteofamanwhodoesnothaveatenderheartforthefairsex.”Dimitriputthedarinsidehiscoatandtinuedonhisleisurelyroudasachivalrousknightwhohadsavedtwelvedamselsindistressfromdirtandstinkofthegarbage．

Dimitrilookedaboutforaquietandsecludedspottoenjoythesetwelvebeauties,whowouldbematerialforhisdreamthatnight．Therewasadulhisbreastwhenherealizedbeautycouldonlybefullyappreciatedthroughthesenseofsight．Odriftedaway,sowouldhisvisibleenjoyment．

"Goingblindintheprimeoflifeisequivalenttobeingcastrated”hethoughtwithaheavyheart．However,hisfrustrationwasonlymomentary．Heremindedhimselfofhisresolutionnottowastetimeonuselessself-pity,buttomakethemostofwhathehadnow．

"EvenifIgoblind,thememoryofthesebeautieswillliveonforeverinmymemory．Thefleshbodyisstrahatafewsuggestivelines，welldraroduceasmuchimpactasabeautifulgraphicpicture．Itisihesourceofbothhappinessandsorrow，whicharesoentwiogetherthatitishardtodistinguishonefromtheother，fortome,botharesweet.”Hisfootstepstookhimtoaeroftheparkheservatory，seldompatronizedbyrowdyteenagersandpyfulchildredownihegazebotoenjoyhisnew-foundtreasure．

6

ThefirstpagehecasuallyflippedtowasanAsiaywithripplingbckhair．Dimitriwasstartled．"Isn’tthisLotus?"hethought．Oncloserscrutiny,hefoundtherewasasimiritybutitwashegirliurestoodontiptoestohangabirdcageonthewindowsill．Shehadaslender,well-proportionedfigureandherhalf-turnedfacehadashy,engagingsmile．Hertightbellyprotrudedentiglyabovethepublichairs,notverydesoftasaclusteroftendergreengrass．

“Ah!Howbeautifulsheis!"Dimitrisighed．"Therearebeautiesineveryeroftheearth．Actuallytheyarenothardtofindifyouwillonlytakethetimetolookforthem.”HestaredatthebeautifulLakeMerrittandrememberedtherewasakeinhisKingdomofDreamstoo，onlyitwasmuchrgeraertherewascrystalclearblue．HehadbuiltastrawhutafterthefashionoftheeseespeciallyforLotusandshelovedtostrolroundthepceasitremindedherofherhomend．HewonderedwhatLotuswasdoingandifshewaswalkingarouhenhedrewhiseyesbacktothepictureinhishandandlookedatitclosely，payingattentiontoeverydetail，asifreadingaingarticlewordforword，allthetimemumblingtothepicture．Joggerswentby，turningtheirheadsforasedghismantalkingtoapicture．Passersbycastcuriouslooksathimandthemoreinquisitiveoneswalkedupclosertofindoutwhatmesmerizedhimso．Onseeingitictureofanakedwoman，theyshooktheirheadsandwalkedaway，grinningslyly．Soon，asmallcrowdhadgatheredaroundthegazebo，titteringandpointingtoDimitri，whowassolostinhisownworldthathewaspletelyoblivioustohissurroundings．

Romi:

Justashewaslostinhisprivateenjoyment,hewasstartledtoseeabeautifullymanicuredhandcoverupthelowerpartofthenakedbeauty’sbodyandasoftvoicewassayinginhisear，

"Putitaway，Dimitri．Lookatallthesepeoplearoundyou.”Dimitrigncedupandsawanattractiveyoungwomanwithabagofgroceryinherarms,smilingdownathim．ItwasMrs.Love,withhergentlesmilesomehowtihamencholysodifferentfromanyotherthatitwasmemorableandhardtet．Dimitriwaostandup,buttohissternation,foundhecouldlydosobefoready．Hewasfbbergastedandblushedprofusely．Mrs．Lovewasatadcultureddy,whouoodhisareditahebestuthimateaseretendnothingoutoftheordinaryhadhappened,soshesaid，

"Whathaveyoubeendoingwithyourself,Dimitri?Wehaven’tseenyouforquiteawhile．We’vebeenwaitingforyoutoeandhelpuswiththeyardwork.”

"Oh...ah...I’vebeenill,MrsLove．My...myeyeshavebeenhurting.”

"That’stoobad．Haveyoubeentoadoctor?"

"Ohyesma’am．I’vebeenusingeyedrops."

"Areyoubetternow?"

6

"Ohyes,Ifeelmuchbetter."

"Ifyouarefreethisafternoon,wouldyouliketoeandhelpmewithsomeyardwork?Mygardenisreallyinneedofsomework."

"Sure．I’mfreethisafternoon.”Sotakingr,Dimitrifollowedhertoherhousenotfarfromtheke．

InMrs．Love’sgarden，Dimitriwaswanimatedlyandily，fardeningwasoneofhispassionsandheenjoyedpruningawaythetangledbranchesandtrimmingthebushesintosymmetricalshapes．Thepeopleinthatneighborhoodknewhewasagoodworkerandaknowledgeablegardener，soeveryoedhisservice．ButDimitrilovedhisfreedomtoomuchtobepinneddowntoaschedule．Heneverhaggledaboutpay,takingwhathewasgivennomatterhowlittle，butwhehewasbeingoverpaid，hewouldinsistourningpartofthemoney．Soheworkedwhelikedit,neverhavingtoworryaboutployers,stiputingonlythathebegivenagoodmeaftertheworkwasdone．Hebecamewell-knowninthatneighborhoodasaricbutlovableman．Fromthekitcamethesoundoffluidjazzmusic，apaheappetizingfragranrs．Love’scooking,whileDimitriworkedonskillfully，trimming，cuttingandpruning．Hisbraiohaveaninvisiblesteeringwheel.Whenitsteeredtotheleft，hisbodygottheneurologicalmessageaotheleft．Whenitsteeredtht，hisbodyturherightinperfectharmony．Hismusclesandnerveswereinhightration，sohismovementswereagile．Thebrainandthebodycooperatedbeautifully．Thoughhisfleshbodywaswbusilyoninthegarden,hiseyesweredazed,forhismindhadretreatedtohisdreamndwhereheseemedtoseeLotus,oneofhistwenty-fourbeauties，walkingalohekeuhemoonlight．

Theweatherseemedtobeging．Darkcloudscoveredtheskyanditturnedhumid．Mrs．Lovemovedaboutherkit,preparingdinnerforDimitri．Roastbeefwasbeginningtosizzleintheoven,soupwassimmeringoverlowheat,boiledonionsandfreshlybakedFrenchbreadwerereadyoable.Sheeelingapplesforthebowloffruitsadshewasmaking．Fromherkitwindow，shecouldseeDimitriwzealouslyandtheshadowofasmiletouchedherlips．Dimitriwasagood-heartedman，thoughetric．Whilepeopleweredeepinslumber,hewouldroamtheneighborhoodiillnessofthenight,doinghisgooddeedsanonymously．Hewouldpickuplettersorpapersthathaddroppedonthegroundandputthembatothegapingmailboxesandclosethem．Hewouldtightendrippingfaucetsandoncewhenhediscoveredsparksoffireingoutofagarage,hejumpedoverthelowferiedtoputitout．Theowhehousethoughthewasaburgrandshotathimwithhisgun,luckilymissinghim.Afterthetwoofthemextinguishedthefmes,themanwasabouttoapologizeandthankhimwhentheetriaritanwasalreadyonhiswaywithhiscart．

"Whyisanicedetmaroamireetswithoutawifeandhome?"Mrs．lovewondered．Butthen,thinkingofherownmarriages,shethoughtthat"singleandfree"mayhavebeenawisechoiceafterall．

Durihreeyears,theohingshedidrepetitiouslywastogetmarriedanddivorced．Shemetherfirsthusbandincollegeandgotmarriedsoonaftergraduation．Hewasahardworker,stiousanddependable，withhistwofeetontheground．Lifewithhimhadbeensafeandsecure．Shecouldnotthinkofathingthathecouldhavedodidn’t．However,everythingwassostiffandrigidlyscheduledthatshefeltstifledandgottiredoftheirmonotonousmarriage．Theydidnotquarrel，butpartedamicably，ginpatibilityasthereasonfortheirdivorce．Shethenmarriedherassistantatthearchitecturalfirmwheresheworked，asolianwhoknewhowtopleaseawoman．Butsoonshefoundackofsubstanhischaracter,forhelivedonlytopleaseandhadnoambitionorpnsofhisown．Hehadnoexceptionaltalentsthatdistinguishedhimfromothers，alnxioustoclimbupthesamecorporatedder，excepttomarrythebossandtrytokeephersatisfiedwithftteryandattention．Soonshegrewtiredofhisshallow,superficiattentionandtheypartedamicablyihanayearaftershepaidhimasubstantialsumofmohinkihepast，sheaowledgedthattherewasreallynothingwrongwithhertwoexhusbands．Theywerebothodetmen,wholovedherintheirownfashioroublewasshegrewtiredeasilyaftertheyworeoff．Thenthinkingofherthirdhusband,thehandsomedevilofacharmer,herbrowscametogetherinafrownandfrustrationcastapalloverherheart．

Suddenlythewindroseandrgeraindropssptteredinadownpustofwihemintothekit,wettingMrs.Love’sfacewhileshestoodtherepeelingapplesbythesink．ShelookedoutofthewindowandsawDimitriwasstillwawaye,entirelyunsciousofthegeofweather．Shecalledouttohim，

"Dimitri!Dimitri!eonin!It’sraining!"Buthetioworkmeically．InhisKingdomofDreams，itwasabrilliantmoonlitnight．HewasdangwithLotusinthemeadowwherethesoftbreezecaressedthetallswayinggrass,whichseemedtobesingingandswayinginchorus．Mrs.Loveopehefrontdoorandcalledout，

"Dimitri!Dimitri!eonioftherain.You’reallwet．Doyouwanttocatchcold?"Dimitrilookedupatthedarkenedskiesandprain．Theraindropswhichhithisfacehardandchthimbacktoreality．Hefelthisclothesgingtohisbody,wetandunfortable．Butwheeppedintothehouse,themirageofhisdreamscameiherwithhim．

6

"Don’tyouknowit’sraining,Dimitri?"

"Itwasn’traininginmyKingdomofDreams.”

"Wherewereyou?"

"Eh...Iwastoobusytratingonthepruningtonoticetherain，Iguess.”Mrs．LoveknewDimitriwasinhisetricmoodagain,immersedinhisdaydreams,soshesaidmildly,

"Anyway,you’dbettergetoutofthosewetclothesandtakeashower,orelseyou’llreallycatchacold.”

"Yes，ma’am,"saidDimitridocilelyandfollowedherintothebathroom．"Idon’treallymindcatgcold.”hethoughtasherememberedhisboyishpranks．Hewouldholdhotwaterinhismouthandruntowardstheschoolic．Atthedoor,hewouldspititoutandgototheyoungnurse,piningofabadheadache．Theakinghistemperatureandthinkinghehadahighfever,wouldbeexceptionallytenderandkindtohirs.Lovelikedtowearcasualclotheswhenshewasathome,soshewasinasuitofredsandwhiteslippers．

"LeaveyourwetclothesihroomandI’llwashthemforyou.”

"No,Mrs.Love，I’tletyoudothat．I’llwashthemmyself.”

"It’sokDimitri，youdon’tknowtheetricitiesofmywasheranddryerasIdo．Putonthekimonowhenyou’rethrough.”

"Thankyou,ma’am.”

6

AsDimitrishoweredandtheredhiswholebody,histhoughtsremainedonhiskindandsideratehostess．Hethoughttohimself,

"Hersmileisgesomehowitdoesn’tquitereachhereyeswhicharesadandwistful．Sheissupassionatewoman．IfIcouldbegedtoamanthesizeofanindexfinger，I’dbewillingtomakemyhomeinthepocketsofhersants．Whenshebendsherclosedkositdown，I’dbeledinthenookofthewarmest,softestandmostprivatepartofherbodylikeginselinginthedeeprecessesofthemountains，partakingoftheessehesunandthemoon.”Butthen，hesppedhimself．Sudetfantasyrofanitytothewomanwhohadbeensokindtohim．Hefinishedhisshoutonthekimono．Asheturogo,thefshofhisrefleinthemirrorarrestedhisattention．Hehadn’tseenhimselfforalongtimeandhadalmostfottenwhathelookedlike．Hestoppedtoptehimself．Hestaredathisownrefleaasifitwasthatofastranger,notquitehimself．

"ImustremembertoprojectmyimageintomybrainbeforeIbeeblind,”hethought．

AsDimitriturheknobahebathroomdoor,hecamefacetofacewithMrs.Lovewhowasjustiofknog．Theysmiledateachotherailyexpihatshejustwaolethimknowdinnerwasalreadyoable．Dimitriwatchedasshepickedupthewetclothesonthefloorandputthemintothewashingmaeintheundryroomothebathroom．Theskirts,blousesandotherwomen’sapparelweresoakinginthewasherandDimitrifeltitwasanhonortohavehisclotheswashedtogetherwithhers．Sheledhimtothediningroomandsaid，

"I’mosoIwon’tkeepyoupany.I’mgoingtotakeashowertoo．MakeyourselfathomeDimitri,andenjoyyourdi’sallforyou.”Sheturnedaupstairs．

Dimitrilookedatthesumptuousfeastspreadbeforehimafamished.Theansofhiswholebodyweregouttohisbrainforreplenishment．Hisbrainandedhishandsaogetreadytoservehisfleshbody,whichwasatoolforepicureanenjoyment．Dimitrithought,

"Ihavetotakegoodyfleshbodytoprolongitsfunforenjoyment,soit’llstyearafteryearindefinitely．Iwouldbestliketokeepitstrongasawildbeast.”Dimitrifelltoravenouslywithgusto．Suealswerealuxurytoahomelessvagabondlikehim．Strainsofawoman’shummingasshewentaboutpreparingforhershetherwiththesoundofrunningwatercouldbeheard,allofwhichbroughthimasenseofmountiement.

“Afterthissplendidmeal,Iwillturnintoawildbeast!"hethoughtwithsomedismay．"Idon’tknowhowfoodistransformedintohormoheblood,butthereisastrangechemicalreaandIamsuretofeelstrongsexualurges．Awildhorsethathasnewlybeenharnessedwillkidbiteandstrugglebeforeitbeessubduedandresigned．Mymindtoo,hasaninvisibleharness．ImustkeepatightreinonmyprimitivefeelingsandmyguarddownwhenIamalohthisbeautifulwoman．Iotbeeawildbeast"

SoonMrs.Lovecamedowninherwhitebathrobe,herplexionradiant,herhairgivingoffafreshfragrance．ShesatacrossthetablefromDimitri,refilledhiswinegss，pouredoneforherselfandsaid，

"Cheers!"Shenibbledonasmallpieceofroastbeefandhelpedherselftosomefruitsad．

6

"Howdoyoulikemycooking?Isittoyourtaste?"

"It’sdelicious!ThankyouverymuchMrs.Love.”

"I’vebeenmeaningtotellyou，don’tcallmeMrs.Love.Loveismymaidenname．Ididn’ttakemyhusband’sstname.JustcallmeRomi.”Shefinishedhersadandtinued,"ItisIwhoshouldthankyouforhelpihtheyardworkandkeepingmepanyduringthisstormytonight．OtherwiseI’dbescaredtodeath.”

"Doesn’tyourhusbandehomeatnight?"Romi’sfacecloudedwithfrustration．

"Let’snottalkabouthim．It’llonlyspoilourevening.”

"Whatareyouafraidof?"

"ThatbighouseacrossthekebelongstoNovelSilkiseandthereareghoststhere.”

"Ghosts?Whosaidso?"

"It’strue．Hernannydiedht.”

"Really?Howdidyouknow?"

6

"Theyhadanothermanservant,agardenerorsomethingcalledJamaz．Healsosawitandwassoscaredhefelndhurthimself．HeisstillinthehospitalwithabrokenlegandabadcussiodayNoveldisappeared．Thepolicearestilllookingintothis.”Dimitri’sfirstimpulsewastough,butthenherealizeditwasnoughingmatter,asithadserioussequences．Onewomanwasdeadandamanwashospitalized．Theoldhimselfwlythatallthatreallyhappenedandwasn’tadreamashehadthought．

"Oh,youdon’thavetoworryaboutNovel．She’sinmyKingdomofDreams.”

"WhatKingdomofDreams?Thisisthesedtimeyou’vementioonight.”

"Anyway，there’snosuchthingsasghosts．Theremustbemoretoitatyhbor’spcethaheeye.”

"Isuspectthereareghostsinmyhousetoo”tinedRomiafterapause.“WhenIyeyes,Iseemtoseeabloodlessfacewithtworedholesforeyesandblood-staih..."andsheshivered．

"Gosh!"thoughtDimitriappalled，"That’smymasquerade!"

"Whennightfalls,thatapparitionisalwaysonmymindandIamafraidtobealone．Iwouldtrytostayatmyfriendshousesforaslongaspossible,untilIreallyfeelIwasoutstayingmywele,andthenehometeatnight,stillscared．Tonight,thankstoyou,Idon’thavetogooutforpany.”Dimitridranksomewihoughthehadtodosomethingaboutthat．

"Ithinkyouhaveappendicitis.”

"Appendicitis?Nonsehere’snothingwrongwithmyii’smymindI’mworriedabout．Theseterriblehalluations!"

"Solongasyouknowthey’rehalluations,theproblemwillnotbehardtoresolve．Frommypointofview,ourmindthoughabstract,arehelessagenuineaheansofthebody．Ifyouhaveappendicitis，youhaveitsurgicallyextracted．Ifsomethingiswrongwithyourmind，youohaveitextractedorexorcised，too.”Romiwaslisteningattentively，herrgeblueeyesalivewithuanding．

6

"Ourfleshbodyneedscoordinationofnerves，bonesaokeepitsphysicalequilibrium．Soitiswiththemind．Itheiionandmutualrestraintofquiteafewelementstoealequilibriumorstability．Iwon’tgoiailonthepsychologicaspect，sincewearenotwritingathesis．Let’sputitthisway：Whenbirdsfly，theyhwingstokeeptheirequilibrium．Ifonewingishurt，theirflightwouldbeelopsided．Ifyourmindishurt，yourbehaviorandas，too，wouldbeeabnormal．So，iofitoyourproblemanddisenta,youmustadveothedepthofyourmindandsoul.”Romilistenedreflectively．

"Analysisofthemindotbeseparatedfromthatofthebody．Whenthemindisdisturbed，theinorcausealwaysbefoundinthebody．Idohere’sanythingwrongwithyouphysically,butatsometimeorother,thebodymusthavebeenexposedtosomeevent,experienceorcircumstaitcameintoflictwithorcouldn’taccept．Thatwouldreflethemindasmentalinstabilityorabnormality．Whendidthatghostbegintohauntyou,Romi?"

"Soohirdmarriage.”

"youtrytoanalyzewhatthatghostrepresents?"Romiuoodhispointandwaslostinthought．

I，thedishwasherwaswnoisily，thewasherintheundryroomwasingonandthevacuumerwasbeingrechargedintheerofthelivingroom．Outsidethewindow,thestormhadabatedsomewhat,buttheraintiopourdown．Thiswasthefifthsecutiveyearhtareesandflowersparchedwiththirstforwater，liftedtheirarmsinexuberahismueededarfromheaven．Theyneededraintoliveandgrowjustastheindoorapplianeededelectricitytowork．Romiyquietlyonthecoutheden,handscspedbehindherhead，deepinptionarospe.Dimitrirawledonanothersofa,gratutinghimselfinself-satisfathathehadledRomiontothewaytohealthyselfanalysis．Herbeautifullyformedfullbreasts,halfcealedbyherrevealingbathrobe，tauntedhimaanuntrolblesurgeofprimitivedesireandlustrisingagainlikeabulkinghorsestrugglingtobeunleashed．Hepulledtightattheinvisiblementalreinuntilitgraduallycalmeddown，thoughstiltriflerestless．Dimitrihadfullfidenhisselftrol,forhismindandhisbodyhadworkedtogetherintimatelyforsolongthathewasasfamiliarwithitasifitwerehislifelongspouse．Heknewhecouldalwayskeepitiraintandgetoutofbounds．

Dimitricouldtrolhisbody，butnothisimagination．HewasonceagainMr．Finger,lyingcozilyamidRomi’slusciousbrownhair,likeginselinginthedeeprecessesofthemountains,partakingoftheessehesunandmoon,inhalingitsfreshfragrance，feelingitwasoneoflife’sgreatestenjoyments．Thenheclimbeddownviaherearontoherface．Hewouldhavelikedtokisshersweetmouth，butitwastoobigforhimanddangeroustoo，forhersparkling,pearlyteethcouldeasilybitehisheadoff．Soherelutlyclimbeddownherandswoopedgleefullydoweepvalleybetweenherbreasts．"Why!ThegeographicalyoutisliketheTwinPeaksinmyKingdomofDreams!Women’sbreastshavetheimportantmissionoffeedingtheyouhought．”Theyarebeautifundsacredandshouldnotbelihanythingprofane”．Skiddingtoastop，hewalkedfurtherdownherbodyandfounditamusingtoskipandjumpontheenormousbarrensquareofanabdomen，whichwaslikearesoundingdrum．Thenhecametoherprivatepce,thatmoisttenderspot,andclimbediively．PerhapsRomithoughtitwasanantcrawlingoealofabeautifulflowerandherbodyshiveredslightlyiion,buttoMr.Fihatslightshiverwaslikeahquake．Hepeedintinaandherwombaledthere,reminisgonhisexperienceasafetus．

"Sexualansaresacredbecauseoftheirfunofproliferatiohought“Whyisitthattheyarealwaysectedwithprofanity?IfRomicmpedherbeautifulloightlytogether,Iwouldsuffocate．No,shewouldn’tdothat!Sheislikethemarblestatueofagoddess,runningjoyfullytowardsthesun．Likethegoddess,sheistobeadmiredandworshippedfromafar,andshouldnotbedesecrated.”Theatmosphereinthedenwasheavy,aseachwasdeeplyimmersedinhisorherownthoughts．Romibrokethesilencebyherexcmation，

"Ah!Iknownow．Theghostinmythoughtismythirdhusband．Wouldyouliketohearmystory,Dimitri?"

"Mypleasurema’am,ifyouwouldliketotellme.”

OneFridayafternoon，asRomileftherofficebuildingfortheparkinglottogethercar，shesuddenlyrememberedsheshouldcallherwyertoaskaboutthedivorceproceedingswithhersedhusband．Shestoppedatthepayphoneandytolearnthatallwasgoingsmoothly．Shenoticedamanpagtoandfrobeforethebooth,butgettingallthedetailsofthedivoretime．Sowhenshecameout,shesmiledatthemanandsaid，

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"I’msorrytohavetakensolong,butthecallortant.”

"I’mnotwaitingtomakeacall．It’syouIwaswaitingfor.”Romiwasnotagirltobeeasilypickedup,butthemanwastall,darkandhandsomeandshehappeobeingoodspirits．Hisrgesoulfuleyeswerefullofexpressionandhehadawonderfulphysique，stronglybuilt，butnotoverlymuscur．Inaword，themanradiatedaggressive，maseattra．Theysoongotmarriedafterawhirlwindcourtship．Romiknewinherheartthatsheyingwithfire,thatAIlenwasnotawisechoice．Hewaslikeaballoffire，fasatingandentingtolookatfromafar,butifyougottoo，youwouldsurelybeburnt．Butshecouldnotescapehismagicpersonality．Hewasextremelyattentiveandcouldalwaysmakeherughandhaveagoodtime．OftheonehundredcouplesofhoneymoonersonboardtheLoveBoatontheircruisetoMexico，theywerethemostattractivepair，themostenvied．Onthedancefloor，theyweretheterofattentionwherealleyeswerefocused．Romiloveddangbutseldomfoundapatiblepartner．InAllen，whocouldexecutethemostintricatestepswithstyleandaplomb，shefoundtheidealdangpartheydahenightawayandRomiwasdeliriouslyhappy．

Butoheywerebaealeddowntotheireverydaylife，Allen’struecolorscametolight．Hesideredhimselfanartist,andassuchhadnostablejob．Romicametorealizethatunderhathandsome,glitterieriortherewasnotalent,sohecouldoshortsporadicbookingsatsed-ratenightclubs，andthatonlybecauseofhishandsomeface，magnifitphysiqueandsocializingskillswhichattractedsomepatrons．HespentRomi’smoneyfreelyasamatterofcourseandwouldstealfromherpursewhenheneededmoney．Buteverytimehehadsexwithher,hewouldpayher500．Atfirst，Romiwasangry，butAllenexpihatitwasjusthiswayofexpressinghissatisfaathavingsuchawonderfulwife．Sometimestheymadelovemorethanonceaday,hewouldinvariablypayupandsay"Heylookhowmueyyoumadetoday!"Hemaytakethemoneyfromherpurseterontospendonwineorcards,buthealaidher．Romigotsousedtoitthatoncewhenhefailedtodoso,sheaskedhimforit．AllehenthatRomiwashookedandhadbeenbrainwashedtoeeywithsexuntilitbecameanaturalrea．Heusedadogtrainer’smethodsofrewardiainaswithprizestoinstilcallgirl’smentalityintohiswife．HewouldbringmenfriendshomeandthehemalohRomi．Whensherepulsedtheiradvaheywouldhuffupandleave．Alleiontothiswasquidterrible．Hisoncesoulfuleyeswouldturnsharpandcruesaneagleandhewouldbeatherup．Butshenevergavein．Aftereverysuchse,hewouldehometoher,repentant,withflowersinhishand,everyinchthepassionatelain．Romicouldneverresisthimandtheywouldkissandmakeup．OnceshefrontedhimwithaloveletterfromStephen,whoobviouslywashismalelover．Alleeahertillshewasbdblue．Buttheday,heapologizedaedherlikeaqueen．Romigotusedtothisroutineofbeingabusedandthenmakingup．ShelearnttobearmolestationjustfortherewardofreciliationaingbackherPrinceCharming，thathandsome，suave，sensitivelovershefellih．Thus,shewasbeingtraiobeeanobediehatidgoldeneggs．

Romifinishedherpainfulnarrationandcried，

"Dimitri!I’tstanditanymore．He’sgotmejumpingthroughhoopslikeatrainedanimandIknowI’mwalkingstepbystepintothetrapthathandsomedevilhassetforme．WhatshallIdo?"Dimitritookacigarettefromtheboxonthecoffeetable,lititupandinhaleddeeply．Hepuffedoutthesmokeleisurelyandsaid，

"IotgiveyouanydefinitesuggestionsatthispointbecauseanythingIsaymayaffearriageandIdonotwanttoharmyourmaritalretionsinanyway．WhatIdoistotellyoumyviewsonlifeforyourreference.”HetookoutanaretteandhaoRomi．Shedidnotsmokenormally,butshetookit．Dimitrilighteditforher，andpausedthoughtfullyforawhilebefoingon．

"Basicallyitisaquestionofhowtotronduseyourfleshbody．Forseveralmillionyears,ourfleshbodyhasremainedaboutthesame，withsomeexternalges，stilltheofanimals．Fromthehumanbraihought，invisibleandintangible，asandworkslikeanyanofthebody．Itsfunissimirtothatofthereinwhitrolsawildhorse．erscale，itisanation’scultureandtradition,whitrolslifeandhabitsofitspeople．Onasmallerscale，theindividual’sthoughtstrolhisorherwordsandas.”Dimitritinuedsmokingandblowings，whileRomilisteeakingoccasionalpuffsatthecigarettewhichsheheldbetweenherfingersinaandcharmingpose．

"Thefofthereinisaplexprocessanddifferentwitheveryperson．Forsomeitmaybeadventurous,forothertorturous,muchlikeanoysterthatturnsanirritationintoapearl.Ifyoupullthereintootight,thewildhorsewouldsnapthereinandbolt．Butifthereinistoox,thereisriatall.Howtohittheidealbinatiohertootightnottoox,differswiththeindividual.Forahumanbeing,areinthatistootightmeansabarrenanduinglife,whereasaxreinwouldentaibuseofourmiraculousfleshbody．Ifyoulearntotightenandloosenthereinattherighttime，theresultswouldbepositiveandyouwillbehappyandoptimistic，butanymisusewouldmakethereiiveforcrimeandatoolforsin.”Dimitritookastlonhiscigaretteandstubbeditout．Romifollowedsuit．

"ForyouRomi，itisalsoaquestionofthehorseandtherein．Youfindithardtowithstaerationandcoer，soyousellyourbodyfhprice,bodilypleasureandmoney．Yourreinwantstotaketrolofthisrunawaysituation，butyourbodyrevoltsaobolt．Thus,thereisatugalebetweewo．Thatisyourproblem,whichisomostpeoplefaceatsometimeintheirlives．Ifyouletgo,youknowverywellthatthedisastrousresultwouldbeviotionofyourbeautifulbody．Yourproblemnowishowtoskillfullymahatwildhorse，tightentherein，trondtameit.”Dimitristoppedtalkingandsilenceagainreigheroom,brokenonlybythepitter-patterofthefallingrain．Romiseemedtobecaughtupinthewhirlpoolofherownthoughts．

Dimitrihadedalldayandwasfeelingtiredandsleepy．Thepricklypaininhiseyeswasworseningandtearsrolledunbiddendownhischeeks．Hequicklywipedthemaway,butthatslightgesturedidnotescapethesensitiveeyesofhishostess．

6

"What’sthematterDimitri?Areyoureyeshurtingagain?"

"I’mafraidso．IthinkI’dbettergohomea,”

"It’sstillrainingoutside．Whydon’tyoustayhereforthenight?Theguestroomisready.”

"Thankyousomui.”Sheledthewayandafterseeinghimgetintobed,shebusiedherselfstraighteningthesheetsandbomakesurethathewasfortable．Dimitricouldnottrolhimself．Hishandsstrayedupandstrokedthesoft，esticbreasts，halfexposedbehebathrobe．Romididnotrepulsehim.Sheonlysaidmildly，

"Don’tfetI’mstillsomebody’swife．Bettertightenyourreins,jockey!"alytuckedhishanduhesheet．Shethensoftlykissedhimonhischeekandsaid，"Sweetdreams.”Atthedoorsheturnedandsaid，"Bytheway，ifyouhearanythingtonight,justdon’tpayanyattentiontoitandgobacktosleep.”

Romigheclothelivingroom．Itwasonly10:30p.m.Sheemptiedtheashtraysanddustedthecoffeetable．At10:32p.m.shepacedupanddowntheroomrestlesslybutquietly．ItwasstillearlyandtherewasnoknowiherAllenwouldbeinghome．Somehow,sheloathedtheideaofseeinghimtonight．Usuallyifhewasn’thomeby12:30，hewouldn’tbeingatall,butshewouldn’tknowforawoingtotheundryroom，shetooktheclothesoutofthedryerandbeganfoldingthemlyandstagthemindifferentpiles.Meanwhile,theeventsofherpastlifefshedthroughhermind．Nowdcollected,shewasabletosortthemoutmethodicallyintodifferentcategories．AsshefoldedDimitri’sclothes,sheponderedonwhatastrangemanhewas．Thewayheanalyzedwhattheghostrepreseoherandhismetaphoraboutthereinandthehorserofoundphilosophyoflifeandhaddeeppsychologicalmeaning，notatallthenormalversationwithanuneducatedhiredhand．Hepinpointedherproblematonddiaglogicallyandsoundly．Hewasastrangemanindeed！10∶45．Stillearly．Shesoftlyturheknobaintotheguestroom，yingDimitri’sclothesonthechairbythedoor．Outside,itwaswindyandraining，butinthecozylittleroomfilledwithsoftrhythmi,allseemedtobeinperfectharmony．Leaningagainstthedoor，shelookedsilentlyatthesleepingform．Sleepwasihehappiestoftimewhenoneknowsnoturmoilortrouble．Lifeisonlythepassiverepetitiosleadingtothestsleepaernalpeatheskiesthegesofnightanddaysucceededeachotherandlifegoeson-wakeandsleep，wakeandsleepinthesamerepetitiouscycle．DimitrikeptmentioningKingdomofDreams,whichseemedtobeasecludedparadisewhiiwouldgiveeverythingtobeabletovisit．PerhapstheunionofherbodywithhismaybetheonlyroutetohisKingdom．Lyiweenthefreshlyunderedsheetswhichgaveforthacrispyfragrahabeautifulyoungwomanbyhissidetendingtohiswants,Dimitrifeltasifhewasfloatingoncloudsandsoonfellfastasleep．

Intheblurryobscurityofsubscioushemraduallyfrombehindthemountains,castingadistinctprofileonthesurfaceoftheke．TheriseandfallofthemountainrangeslookedlikeagiganticTitanlyiandhelplessontheground．Hissinewymuscleshadstoresofinfinitemight,powerandenergy．Havingintherefes，heseemedtolongtostretdturnover,butbeingparalyzedheolongerliftevenafinger．Hismusclestauhisfutileattempt．Ontheoppositebankoftheke,anudewomawashingherlonghairinthecrystalclearwater．Aftervigorouslyrubbingitdrywithatowel，shetwisteditlooselyintoaknotatthebackofherheadandstoodup．Ah!itwasLotus．Herbeautifulfacefullyrevealeduhebrightmoonlight．Shestoodthere，headraisedtothemoon，musclessorexedthattheyseemedtobepulledbythegravityoftheearthontotheground．Sheseemedtohearstrainsofmusithesky,butwheoppedtolistely，itwasgoafterawhile，theelusivemelodyappearedagain，startingasanindistinctmurmurandthenrisingslowlytoafullrhythm．Shebeganmovingherarmsandlegswithasluggishslowness，whichhadnoratiotoordinarymovements.Itwasasthoughshewasumosphericpressuretentimesgreaterthannormal．Butoherhand，hernguidmovementswerelikefloatingcloud．Ifisotedintopostures,eachwouldresemblethepoiseofatree;butliogethertheyweregracefusthewillowswayinginthespringbreeze．Thefullmoonshhtlyasshetinuedmoving，castingherelongatedshadowontheground，makingherappeartobeaherealgehemagicalgealmentofthelumimoonlight．Hermovementsweresmoothandflowingasthewater，seemingtonarratetheprocessofthecreationoftheearthanditselements．Timewasfrozenuntilshegraduallystopped．Shestoodthereforasedandthenwalkedbacktoherhut．Thetactofherbarefeetwiththegrassandsoilwasextremelysoothing．Sheerspiringslightly，soshesatbyherwindowsoftlyfanningherself．Theunhinderedbloodflowcruisingthroughherbodygaveherafeelingofwarm，zyfort．Thefeelingbroughtbackmemoriesthatshehadwheuhewintersuninthefishingvilge，watghergrandfathermendi．Heertastrologerandlookingatthemyriadsoftwinklingstarsinthesky,shewonderedwhiehehadturo．

Justthen,twhtnternswereseenbobbingtheirwaytothehut．Theslendershadowscastonthegroundwerealltheslimmerbecausetheywereunhamperedbyclothes．IntheKingdomofDreams,nocamoufgewasneeded．Everythingwasnaiveandsimpleasnatureitself．AsLotuswentouttogreetherguests,sheheardNovelandElinahailingherfromafar，

"Lotus!Wesawyoudanginthemoonlight．Itwasbeautiful!"

"Weesomuchwedecidedtoeoverandtellyouso．Itwasreallyexquisite.”Lotusweledhervisitorsintothestrawhutandtakierboilingooveintheer,pouredeachofthemacuprantjasmiea．

70页

"Iwasn’treallydang,youknow．Iwasjustmovingmybody.”

"Youmeanyouwereexerg?That’sgoodforyourhealth.”

"No，Elina．Iwaslyexerg．Iwasthinkingwhyshouldeverymovementofourbodybetrolledbythebrainfrombirthtodeath?Itisn’treallynecessaryasthebodyhasitsowum．Iwasjusttryingtomakemybrainstandliberatemybody,lettingitmoveasitliked,freefrominhibition"Asweethigh-pitchedvoiceresouhenight,breakingintotheirversation．Lotuslookedoutofthewindowandsawtheshadowofaboatiance．

"That’sDeanna!"sheexcimed．TakiernfromNovel’shand,shewalkedouttotheedgeofthekeandsighit．Theboatturscourseandcametowardsthentern．Asitgothebank，theformofanudewomaothewaterandswamtoshore．Assheclimbedoutoftheke，thewatertrickleddownherbackasitwouldoffaduck’sbadsheerfectlydry．Thetwonakedwomenwalkedhandinhandintothehut．

"Deanna，Iwanttointroduceyoutotwonewpanions，NovelandElina，whojustgothereretly．I’msureyouwilllikethem.”

Deanna:

Aftertheintrodus，NovelandElinacouldheireyesoffthenaturalbeautyofthenativegirlwithherstrohy,perfectlyproportionedbodyaremelyslenderwaist,whichtwistedlikeasnake,remindislitheness，strengthahefourofthemsatdownarouable．Deannasmiledandsaid，

"Oh!Thetwoofyouarenewhere．LetmeofferyouasmallpresenttoweleyoutotheKingdomofDreams．Theyaremytestacquisitions.’Sayingso,sheuhestringfromaroundherwaistahepouchwhigfromitbyherrighthip．Sheselectedtwe，perfectlyformedpearls,eachthesizeofalicheeandhahemtothetwonewersfromthewesterncivilizedworld．Novelwasfasated．Shekeptexgoverthesize,texture,luster,beautyandperfeofthepearls,thelikesofwhichshehadneverseenbefore．Elinalovedthepearlstoo,butshesaid，

"Deanna，thankyouverymuchbutwecouldn’tpossiblyacceptthembecausethey’retoopreciousandexpensive．Why,itmustbeworthalotofmoney.”

Deannawasanativeoftheregioherare，nowalmostextinctareasuntouchedbycivilizationandhadneverbeentotheoutsideworld，soshewasmystifiedbyElina’squestion．Herrgenaiveeyes,brightasthestars,lookedatLotusinquiringlyandasked，

7

"Money?What’smoney,Lotus?"

"It’ssomethisideworldusestocalcutethepriceorvalueofathing.”

"Oh，mydearvisitorsfromthewesternworld，pearlsareplentifulhereaworthanything．Nobodybetthem．Idosobecausepearldivingisahobbywithme.”

"It’strue"saidLotus．"Takethem．Deahemallthetime．Asamatteroffact，whydoakethempearldivihesedays，Deanna?Thenyoutwoseethekeisfullofoysters,thoughnotallthepearlsareasperfectlyshapedastheonesshecollects.”